OK. It took me a while but I have finally discovered real, outrageous, over-the-top magnificent opulent excess here in Dubai. I mean, they accomplish one flavour it here at the Burj, and it’s certainly overwhelming in its way, but something is not quite right; the parts don’t quite fit together, and despite its inarguable power it seems somehow confused about what it’s trying to be. 
I have written here before about the Madinat development next door, where I go quite frequently to write and take in a bit of a different ambience. Up to now I have only been going to Mina A’Salaam, the closer of the two boutique hotels that form the hubs of the complex. A couple of days ago I finally made it as far as the other one, Al Qasr. And my mind was duly blown.
Don’t get me wrong, I have not lost the ironic twist with which I am looking at all of this, and on a number of levels I still find it appalling and horrifying, considering all that is wrong in the world. From an aesthetic standpoint, I also don’t necessarily particularly like these extremes of ostentatiousness, these overt displays of wealth and privilege. But as a kind of fish-out-of-water observer, I find it hard not to be fascinated by what people with more or less infinite resources choose to do with them, how they conceive of luxury… I don’t really relate to it, but it’s kind of interesting to have a look at.
To which end. If the Burj is an intimidating if slightly ungainly combination of ultra-modern, iconic mega-architecture with gaudy luxury and Arabic aesthetic layered on like greasepaint, if Mina A’Salaam is more traditional, warm easy-going Oriental style with a nautical theme, if Bab Al Shams is rustic luxury with real desert fort ambience… then what is Al Qasr? Well, the name means The Palace, and that’s what it is. It’s an attempt to build into a luxury five-star-deluxe hotel all the opulence of a royal palace, in the Arabian style. Let’s run down a quick checklist and see how they’ve done.
Long, high-security winding driveway between manicured gardens, with Arabian horse sculptures strewn left and right? Check. Enormous covered arrival area with ornate mosaic floors and enormous fountain, again with stylized equestrian theme? Check. 
Long airy approach to the main entry between carved pillars, with more fountains, sculptures, pools and palm trees? Check. Grand entryway, with seven-foot-tall African guards in traditional attire and a small army of hovering attendants, set against more beautiful mosaics? Check. Gigantic Swarovski jewel-encrusted chandeliers, including easily the biggest I’ve ever seen, set over a grand staircase with more fountains? Check. OK, we’re in now, let’s have a look around…
This level of absurdity continues more or less throughout the grounds, 
which include numerous extravagantly expensive restaurants and lounges, terraces with domes and gorgeous sea views, private gardens and beaches and the largest pool in the Middle East. The waterways of the Madinat complex weave quietly through all of this, and the views take in the neighboring Mina A’Salaam, Souk Madinat, the Dar Al Masyaf villas (which I unsuccessfully tried to get a staff-rate booking for as well, while Athanasia was here), and of course the Burj Al’Arab. Hard to escape really, being as it’s the only thing for miles around taller than 60 metres or so and it’s over 300.
The thing I find most amazing about all of these properties is how spacious they are. Having spent a few years in tightly-packed Europe, where every square inch is at a premium, and even quite luxurious places can feel a bit cramped, I find it amazing that a hotel complex would be built with literally hundreds of serene little nooks, beautifully decorated, with comfy couches strewn about, most apparently rarely, if ever, used. There are long austere passageways between sections of the hotel and grounds, 
most with sculptures or urns or other decorations of a traditional nature. Everywhere there are courtyards with pools or fountains, and much of the time, despite the hotels being apparently booked to capacity, there is no-one around – except for the obligatory cleaning-and-polishing staff making their never-ceasing rounds.
Anyway, for the moment I will leave off my survey of the luxury hotels of the Jumeirah group here in Dubai. Hopefully you feel better qualified to make a decision should you be in the market for an upscale holiday here, which I suppose, my sphere of influence being what it is, very few of you are. Today there is a bit of a sandstorm outside, nothing major – I am told it can get pretty wild on occasion, with car-obscuring drifts appearing in half an hour, rather like a desert version of a Montreal winter storm. However, visibility is down to almost zero and there is a coating of brown dust over almost everything outside. A good day, I suppose, to stay inside writing blogs and editing pictures…
